21
by hiding duh
Summary: Jack/Liz. There are things even Dr. Spaceman thinks just ain't right.


'Cause I'm too lazy to write a real fic.

**Fandom**: _30 Rock_  
**Summary**: Jack/Liz-ish. There are things even Dr. Spaceman thinks just ain't right.  
**Author's Note**: I think the hiatus killed me. But this writing thing was fun! Let's never do it again.

Yes, the challenge was _fifty_ sentences. But... um... I'm synergizing backward overflow.

*

_01. inside_

That first time, they get stuck in an elevator, and, statistically, random exercises in claustrophobia shouldn't really happen, on account of it being 2007 and all, but then again, it's NBC, so all she can do is fidget and chant, "Have to pee, have to pee, have to pee," while he presses buttons with an increasingly horrified, "Lemon? Lemon... _Lemon_?"

_02. sufficient_

In general, he enjoys Jessica Simpson's witty tuna repertoire and Beyoncé's PETA rants, but lately, he's developed this disconcertingly filthy habit of lounging in her office, snacking on her stash of vomit-flavored jelly beans, and repeatedly blocking her access to match . com.

_03. protest_

"So, I saw this movie last night about this FBI agent posing as a movie producer," she tells him, adding an awkward, "heh, talk about implausible," and when he completely ignores her in lieu of suggesting a sketch about a pygmy elephant stalking Kristie Alley through her myspace page, she perks up and shouts: "Frank, write that down—Tracy does a killer Kristie!"

_04. detainee_

The second time is entirely Jenna's fault; after all, leaving a trail of double chocolate donuts leading to the supply closet can only result in one possible outcome and, boy, spending the night with Jack and Frank and a wheel of cheese is seriously not half as mortifying as explaining the bite marks on the doorknob to the Colombian cleaning lady in the morning.

_05. presence_

During May sweeps, he blackmails her into joining him for a network executives dinner where she spends seventy percent of her time stealing shrimp and twenty percent exchanging nasty barbs in German, most of which begin with "Ja, Sorkin ist ein..."—ten percent is wasted on slapping his hand away from the spinach stuck in her hair.

_06. information_

He doesn't know why the hell he's making Jonathan queue up Star Wars on his Netflix account.

_07. shadow_

"Lemon, is this a _thing_?" he drawls as she presses her face against the glass and paws at the handle, stuck in the revolving door with him and assuring everyone she's "not, um, crazy? Or stalking him or anything," but if he could maybe just move his hand a little 'cause people are starting to stare, that'd be great.

_08. worry_

So, hypothetically, if she's taking a cab 'cause she's super late to work and some NYU jackass cuts her off and all she notices is the Sigma Sigma Sigma bumper sticker on the Ford and automatically thinks, "Wow, that's half of Six Sigma," that's not weird or anything, right?

_09. single_

Flower Guy is certainly an improvement over the Rat King, but it's oddly satisfying signing off on his transfer to the Midwest branch.

_10. part_

When _Urban Fervor_ grosses its first domestic million—and its fourth in Israel—and it's _her_ job to talk Jenna out of touring the Middle East (even though she's gained support within al-Qaeda), it's actually Jack who offers to send them both on an appropriately glamorous vacation instead, so she thanks him with an offended, "Really, Jack? Florida?"

_11. week_

It's only after a week of eerie quiet that he remembers to tell Jonathan that Florida area codes are temporarily unbanned—of course, he regrets this as soon as Mother calls to ask if that was Eddie she saw stealing bottled water from the Magic Kingdom.

_12. stability_

Okay, this guy's relatively straight and most likely not related to her—in the sense that she's quizzed him about his relatives and doesn't feel compelled to take a DNA test—but he doesn't think the baby panda video is the most adorable thing ever, so she begs Jenna to join her in fleeing Florida and its robot men, and when that doesn't work, she points out she hasn't seen a single paparazzi since they arrived.

_13. sell_

Pilot season makes his eye sockets itch and pawning scripts off on NBC pages would be immoral—though he'd do it if Tracy hadn't already won Kenneth in a hand of Black Jack Daniel's—so seeing Lemon, unattractive sunburn and all, leafing through a stack of scripts and snorting like she's picked up tuberculosis, makes him forget to say _welcome back_, but he does sidle up to her with a gravelly, "What do you think sounds better? Space Titanic or a show about deaf flute players?"

_14. copy_

She's pretty sure he's a month away from being sued by the creators of _Futurama_.

_15. never_

Bored as he is, he'd never not encourage rumors about her sad sex life, but the dirty grin Tracy gives him when Lemon accidentally makes out with Jenna is met with absolute revulsion.

_16. idea_

In retrospect, really, what made him think she was _gay_?

_17. hate_

Oh, right, the shoes.

_18. man_

You know how when things start lining up for ol' Liz Lemon, Pete or Oprah or genetics will ruin them?—yeah, this is kinda like that, only things aren't so much lining up as they are _piling_ up in her office, but when she asks if he's moving in or something, he looks at her with a scandalized: "Well, Lemon. Hope springs eternal."

_19. solve_

Oddly enough, it's only after they spontaneously team up against an attractive craft table and consequently find themselves fleeing the outraged union mafia, and she grumbles as they skitter away, "Geez, you'd think we ate Jimmy Hoffa or something," and off his blank look, adds, "...what, too soon?" that he decides it's time to start dating Jessica Simpson... or John Mayer—whichever one of them is the girl.

_20. hypocrites_

In theory, Tracy saying, "I'm serio_us_, Liz Lemon, I can't leave this building until the _peli_cans veto the _far_mers, and we're almost there, Liz Lemon, _almost there_!" should make her speed-dial Dr. Spaceman, but in reality, she's probably going to call Jack, and that's pretty sad, isn't it?

_21. unnecessary_

It's not like they're stuck or anything—obviously, she's got a key... well, somewhere, and he's arranged _blackouts_ before, so yeah, there's really no reason to slum it up in her office, inhaling Pixy Stix and googling Bianca, but here they are, aren't they?


End file.
